


Wenches, Wrenches, and other sundry things

by kris932



Series: Idiot's guide to relationships [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:58:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1427659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kris932/pseuds/kris932
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark saves Darcy Lewis's life one fine day. Now he just has to deal with the fallout...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Ah, fuck. I’m too young and awesome to die a virgin.” 

The girl in question swore as she ducked under his armored hands and turned into his side to avoid as much of the falling debris as she could. Despite the fact that they were now both buried under a good foot of collapsed warehouse and physically cut off from the rest of the team and he definitely had one or two broken bones the Mark 32 suit was assessing Tony couldn’t help but agree with her surprising statement. 

“I’d be happy to lend my personal and immediate services to solving your problem.” 

JARVIS always willing to lend his aid broke in with “Such a kind offer, sir. But perhaps now is not the best time?” 

The woman snorted in unimpressed amusement, coughed, and muttered a choked ‘sure you would, Stark’ before falling silent. Well, to be fair, the girl wasn’t getting filtered air like he was… 

“You’re right JARVIS, rain check then, now might not be the best time.” 

The young woman shifted closer and opened her mouth to give what he could only assume was a snarky reply before she started coughing again. 

Ok, Thor or Steve really needed to get their asses over here, like, now.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

It was one hell of a week later that Tony finally learned who the girl was. It had turned out the girl was none other than Foster’s little lab gopher Darcy Lewis. 

And well, damn. While he was only half joking back when he had hit on her during the battle, her file now interested him even more.

Tasered Thor and lived to become bros with the Norse god. Point, Lewis. 

Kept most of Dr Foster’s old equipment running on nothing more than duct tape and a prayer despite her unfortunate taste in college majors. Political science? The words politics and science always made Tony cringe when used together. But Culver University was no laughing matter, both Dr Bruce Banner and Dr Jane Foster were a testament to that fact.  
….and her file really needed more info to keep him amused. Seriously, what was first-name-Agent last-name-Son of Coul hiding from him?

.  
.  
.  
.

The Dodge Spirit did not now or ever belong next to any of his shiny pricy sports cars. Even if the car had been brand spankin’ new…which it wasn’t, at all. Its color alone would  
have offended the Ferraris and Lamborghinis delicate sensibilities. And Tony didn’t even want to imagine what mental affect it could have on his antique cars… 

Maroon? Really? Ancient peeling maroon paint… His poor sports cars were going to need therapy and lots of it. 

“JARVAIS, what the hell is that…thing… doing in my garage? How did it even make it by security? Like I do still have some fucking security monitoring this place, right?” He fired off the questions to his trusty AI as he made his way closer to the ageing eyesore. 

But before JARVIS could provide him with some answers a steel and vinyl creeper with the Stark Industries logo embossed on its side came sliding out from under the car to hit his foot. 

“J-man, wanna let me take this one?” asked Lewis from where she lay on the creeper: wrench, rag, and WD-40 in hand. 

“Of course Miss Lewis, I’m sure sir would find you a much more enlightening conversationalist at the moment than me.” 

“Oh now, JARVIS, like anyone could carry a convo better than you. I mean, where would I be without our nightly philosophical musings on life, the universe and everything?”

Tony blinked down at the girl as she cheerfully carried on with JARVIS and ignored the fact that she had just rolled over his toes with one side of her creeper…no wait, make that his creeper, there was a dent in the left side that he put in it last week. He nudged the side of the creeper and the girl smiled up at him.

“Explain? Now?”

“Pepper said I could fix/store my car here. I needed access to tools and the employee lot has got zilch, it’s like people can’t even check the oil these days without hiring some wannabe jiffy lube mechanic to do it for them. This is one sweet set up you got here, Dude. “

He gave a small nod in her direction “your car is hideous and belongs in a junkyard, but I will forgive your authorized trespass on the grounds that you’re a hot chick that knows the difference between a double-box wrench and an open-end wrench. “

“My many thanks o-gracious kinda-bossman.” She saluted him with the wrench and slid the creeper back under the maroon monstrosity.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“Pepper…” he whined into the phone. “Pepper…she was using my tools. In my garage. My personal garage…how could you do this to me?”

“Do what?” came the exasperated reply. 

“You know very well what, Miss Potts!”

“Mr. Stark, I can assure you I certainly don’t. Now as the current CEO and the only person in this conversation trying to run an international business can I please get back to work now?”

“Fine, but don’t think I’m going to let this go Pepper!” 

He could just imagine her rolling her eyes thousands of miles away as she hung up on him.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“So as I was saying, my skill set would have been completely badass if I had been born a privileged white male sometime in the 1500’s.” 

Clint Barton was doubled over with laughter at whatever story Darcy had just finished regaling him with in the Avengers lounge. 

“Oh man, add that to the Taser and we ought to add you to the rotation kiddo.” He laughed again and glanced up to see Tony. 

“Stark, you gotta listen to this kid’s stories, off the charts, fucking insane.”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Alcohol, Daddy issues and boredom had gotten him in trouble in the past. Surely three days of no sleep, lots of coffee and DUM-E trying to brain him with a fire extinguisher had to be better. 

He might have been wrong on that, but lack of sleep didn’t stop him from knocking on her door at 4am.


	2. Chapter 2

It took a few minutes before he could hear the sound of someone moving around on the other side of the door. After a few more insistent knocks on the door, because hey, it was rude to keep someone waiting this long, it finally opened to the sight of a sleep tousled Darcy Lewis. 

Who was really rockin’ some pillow creases on her cheek, frizzy bed hair, lopsided dark framed glasses, and the new HAWKEYE AVENGERS ™ comfy pajamas line. 

She stared at him for a second, taking in his own appearance. Three days’ worth of grease, oil, and paint not to mention he hadn’t shaved recently either. The trademark goatee was probably a goner by now. 

“Um, hey…” she raised her eyebrows and ran a hand under her glasses trying to wake herself up some. “Ya need somethin’ Tony?”

It took him a moment to stop staring at her chest (despite her unfortunate choice in AVENGERS sleep wear the shirt did cling and drape in all the right places) 

“Eyes up here genius.” 

Ah, right. 

He forced himself to ignore the way her breasts moved as she crossed her arms.

Focus on her face, right, easier said than done.

“You gonna tell me what the fuck you are doing here at god knows what time in the morning?”

“Dinner.” Good. Short, concise, and clear. 

“Yeah, you missed that meal, like, ten hours ago, plus don’t you have a kitchen full of chiefs eagerly waiting to whip of 5 star meals for you at your slightest command?”

Ah, maybe too short to be clear.

“No, dinner. Me. You. I’ll pick you up at my garage at 6:30? Good. “ 

He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to the fading pillow crease on her cheek before flashing her that bold confident smirk of his.  
He turned and left before he could see the completely dumfounded look on her face.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Darcy groaned as she stretched and rolled onto her back. Without opening her eyes she fumbled around with her left hand until she could feel her phone. She forced one eye open to squint at the time on the screen. Urg, 9:30. Thankfully, she had an understanding boss that never followed a sane sleeping schedule. 

“JARVIS?”

“Good morning Ms. Lewis. I trust you slept well?”

“That depends on how you answer this next question.”

JARVIS waited in what Darcy could only describe as an amused silence.

“Am I dreaming this shit up or did Tony Stark show up at my door at four in the morning to stare at my boobs?”

“I believe he also, ah, ordered you to join him for dinner. He often forgets he’s supposed to ask people’s permission for these sorts of social endeavors.” 

“Then he kissed me.”

“Yes.” 

“This seriously cannot be my life.”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Jane often comes across as demanding, single-minded, and pushy to most people. But really, Darcy couldn’t have built a better best friend if she tried. So despite the alluring seduction of SCIENCE, Jane does notice that her intern-turned employee-friend is not her usual self that morning. It might be eleven in the morning but that doesn’t stop Jane from raiding some poor smuck in accounting’s fridge for chocolate ice-cream and pulling Darcy into her bedroom for Girl Talk. 

After listening to Darcy’s account of the early morning events and watching the stunningly clear surveillance video from the hallway outside Darcy’s front door (cheerfully provided by JARVIS), Jane can see why Darcy might be a little out of sorts. 

“So I guess we need to find you an outfit for tonight then?”

Darcy whips her head up from the ice-cream bowl she’s scraping the last of the chocolate from to stare at Jane.

“You’re kidding right? There is no way in hell I’m meeting him tonight for dinner.”

“I thought you liked him, you were going on and on about his shop the other day.”

“Yes but dinner happens to be with him, not his garage.”

“And he saved your life…”

Darcy rolls her eyes and huffs “Well I should hope so, it’s kinda in the fucking Avengers handbook to do so.”

“What’s the real reason you don’t want to go? Despite his reputation you don’t actually have to have sex with him. But he is kinda old for you…”

“Thanks mom, and no his age is not the issue I have here. Plus, do not even start, Thor was way worse back in his Viking Midgard days and like is a gazillion years older than you.” Jane does a brilliant job of ignoring both of those statements and continues with her mini lecture. “Well you ought to at least tell him in person you don’t want to go.”

Darcy groans and flops back on Jane’s bed in a futile attempt to smoother herself with Jane’s pillows. Her plan fails miserably.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
The outfit that Jane pulls together last minute for Darcy looks good. Attractive and not the slightest bit slutty. Jane made sure to steer far far away from anything that screamed ‘I’m Tony Stark’s latest one night stand.’ 

She still has no idea what she’s going to say to the man but she’s hoping inspiration will strike between Jane’s apartment and the elevator ride down to Tony’s garage. 

But of course it doesn’t and when she exits the elevator (seven minutes past 6:30) and she looks up to see him smiling at her and leaning up against a seriously cool 1954 Chevrolet Corvette two-seater she can’t even muster up the brainpower to say hi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part ends here. There's going to be more to the whole story but it's going to be published as a separate part in the series. Thanks for all the KUDOS and reviews. So appreciated.


End file.
